How to talk to women

Now, there is the obvious. If you get good at talking to women, you are going to get more dates. That's just plain to see. But what most men don't see is that getting good at talking to a woman will help them out in so many other ways. Namely, if talking to a woman is a fear that you have that holds you back and you find a way to get over it? It bleeds over into other parts of your life. You will be a lot more likely to tackle other fears. Plus, you will be more likely to talk to all sorts of people because you are going to lose that fear.

Talking to  a woman you have just met and don’t really know much about can be an interesting experience.  It can be fun if you feel confident and you don’t get that awkward feeling that a lot men seem to get.  On the other hand,  if you are the kind of guy who seems to wind up feeling awkward about talking to a woman you have just met,  it can be kind of hard to just get the conversation started.  You obviously want to be able to make a good impression on a woman,  especially if you are really attracted to her,  so you kind of have to get over any feeling of awkwardness if you are going to be able to make that good impression.  You need to be able to get the conversation started and learn to be able to carry it on.

For that reason,  it’s always good to have some conversation starters handy so that you don’t feel as though you have to think on the fly.  Some guys use generic pick up lines as conversation starters and they can work when used right,  however,  plenty of men find that they just don’t feel natural when they try to use those kinds of lines to get a conversation started.  Personally,  I try to stay away from generic lines as much as possible,  as they have all been heard before and they don’t always lead to an ongoing conversation.

Here are a few conversation starters that you can use when you have just met a woman and you are trying to get to know her:

1)  Pick out something she is wearing that seems a little unique and ask her what’s the story behind that.

This obviously won’t work on a woman who is dressed very generically without any of her own style,  but for a woman who does have a little bit of her own style,  it usually works well because it usually is an indication that she does put a lot of thought into what she wears and to her,  it says a lot about her attitude.  For example,  I was talking to a woman who had on this really funky looking shirt that was just peeking out from underneath her sweater and I just asked her if there was a story behind it and next thing you know,  she’s telling me about how she enjoys shopping at thrift stores and she gives me all of these little opportunities for joking around with her which is good stuff for both rapport and attraction.

2)  Tell her she looks bored and then ask her what she would rather be doing right now.

It’s funny how often this works out quite well.  Even if she really isn’t that bored,  most women will give an affirmative response and then go into what they would rather be doing.  Usually this will help you gain some insights into what her personality is really like.  And,  it may also help you to figure out if she is kind of boring herself,  because women with no imagination and no hobbies will usually give an “I don’t know” kind of response.  That’s a good thing for you to know right away because dating a boring woman can be… well,  boring.

3)  If you are in a crowd,  point out someone you can make fun of in a light hearted way,  not in a mean way.

Let’s say that you are sitting down with her in a coffee shop and there is a guy who is getting his coffee who looks like he is awkwardly holding it because he is afraid it’s going to spill.  You can point it out and then make some silly remark like “Oh,  boy,  Oh no I hope it doesn’t spill” as if you are reading his thoughts and if you do it in a funny way,  you might be able to make her laugh.  That might not be the best example,  but you can usually use observation humor like that to get a woman laughing as long as you are not being mean.  Doing stuff like that also helps you to see what she is like,  if she is easy going enough to just laugh or if she is the kind of woman who will get offended by things like that.  For me,  if I can tell that she is going to e easily offended,  that means that she is probably not going to be a lot of fun to be with.

If you are the typical guy who usually spends more time hanging out with the fellas than you do with women, then you probably are going to find that talking to women can be kind of a challenge. I don’t think it is any real revelation that women like to talk about different things than men do, so if you don’t have a lot of experience talking to women, you might find yourself wondering what to say to make her feel attracted to you. You might even wonder if it is possible to use conversation to build attraction with a woman.

Is it?

Of course, you can use conversation to build attraction with a woman. Any guy who is at ease when he is talking to women is pretty much always going to do a little bit better than a guy who feels uncomfortable in that situation. Sure, there may be some exceptions to this, but overall, you do have to be able to talk to a woman in a way that makes her enjoy herself when she is around you.

What happens to most men when they try to use their words to create attraction with a woman, is that they end up fall far short of actually making that happen. One of the most common reasons for this, is the simple fact that they end up boring a woman more than exciting her. Think about it like this. Let’s say that a woman were to approach you and start up a little banter back and forth. Only thing is, every topic that she is using is just a bore to you.

Are you going to be having fun in that kind of a situation?

Probably not. Here’s the rub, though. As guys, we will still be interested in her most of the time if she is hot. Yes, as much as we want to believe that not to be the case, we all know that it is. The rub is, that women usually won’t make that exception. Bore her and she probably can go and find someone else that she can talk to.

Women have more opportunity than men do.

It’s just the way the dating game is set up. So, you really need to be able to hook her from the beginning. You need to talk about things that are going to make her want to keep on with the conversation. A simple and easy way to do this is to use humor as a way to make the banter fun and light with a woman. Do this and you will be able to keep her attention on you.